


brave new world

by zauberer_sirin



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, POV Skye | Daisy Johnson, Post 3x01, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4915654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/pseuds/zauberer_sirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe tomorrow or the next day things will get easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	brave new world

It's late when she finishes with Joey, when she finishes checking up on the rest of their work.

She goes into the kitchen, feeling heavy and exhausted, not knowing exactly what she's looking for, and finds the familiar sigh of Coulson quietly going through the fridge. She wonders if he's waiting here for her, to talk to her. 

Like her he doesn't seem to be sleeping much these days. It always feels like there is just one more thing to do before the days ends, and then another thing, and with a couple of valuable agents down sleep seems like a luxury neither her nor Coulson can afford right now. And _right now_ never seems to end either, like there's this mythical tomorrow or the next day when things will be easier and they can rest. Daisy wonders when it's coming, she's beginning to lose hope that such a thing even exists.

Coulson turns around when he hears her footsteps get closer.

"How is Mr Gutierrez feeling?" he asks with a perfect Spanish pronunciation.

"Better now, after the beer."

"Which reminds me," he says, taking two bottles out and offering one to her. "Another one?"

As much as she appreciates the gesture she also feels a bit guilty. She knows why he's being so accommodating lately.

"Come on, sir," she teases as they sit down on the couch together. "You don't have to make it up to me for being unable to get my name right. You don't have to be this nice."

She kind of regrets that last part, because it sounds like he is not normally nice to her, which he is of course. Just not sharing-a-beer kind of nice. The other kind of nice matters more to her.

"Well, just try not to take advantage of it," he tells her.

She tries. The "Phil" concession is worth it, on its own, and she is grateful for these little moments between them, because everything else that has happened is such a mess. Daisy is not sure she could have faced it if she had felt she was alone in this.

They begin drinking without a word.

She notices he looks just as weary as she feels. Coulson does not have much of a poker face.

"You look cheerful," she comments.

He makes a weary gesture with his hand. 

"Just came from talking to Fitz."

She nods. "Where did he go this time?" she asks. She knows Fitz thinks he's doing all this stuff behind everybody's backs, but Coulson has been keeping an eye. She has tried to keep out of it; it's too much for her, facing Fitz these days.

"Morocco."

"Any luck?" she asks non-chalantly, because she doesn't want to hope, she's been trying very hard not to hope. She also been trying very hard to give off this vibe that she's not hoping anymore.

"I'm sorry," Coulson says nonetheless.

They settle back into an easy silence that they have been cultivating the last couple of months, from spending so many hours designing ops together and looking over everybody else and basically never leaving each other's sight for whole days. It's made the already-easy shorthand between them even easier.

It makes it easier for Coulson to know when something is wrong with her too, which – maybe not so great sometimes.

"What's wrong?" he asks, like on cue.

She puts on her okay-I'll-tell-you face. Coulson puts down the beer on the table, like he wants her to know she has his full attention.

"It's Joey," she says.

"You just said he's okay. He isn't okay?"

"He doesn't know it was me," she says, avoiding closer inspection by avoiding Coulson's gaze. "He doesn't know the reason the life he had worked so hard to build is ruined is me."

Coulson shakes his head. "Skye–" he stops himself a second too late. Daisy smiles at him. She doesn't mind. It's almost touching. He shakes his head again, this time in self-recrimination. "Sorry."

"But it's true," she goes on. "And I have to tell Joey. He deserves to know. And I want to say sorry."

"You were trying to save a lot of lives," Coulson tells her. "You saved a lot of lives."

She has this weird feeling of deja-vu. And it does make her feel a bit better, for a moment. She just hopes Joey and those who come after understand. She can't do anything about those who have already lost their lives to the repercusions of her choices. It all goes back to her: she was trying to save lives, but she wouldn't have had to do it if her mother hadn't been trying to do something horrible, if her mother hadn't gone crazy because she lost her.

"I saw the simulation," she tells him. "A tidal wave, uh?"

"I'm sorry," Coulson says, with a tiny grimace of regret. "I wanted to tell you myself, I just–"

"This is going to happen a lot," she interrupts him, thinking about Joey being torn from his normal life. "And I need to be honest with the people I help. I did this. I need to face that."

"I know," Coulson agrees.

"I just hope Joey wants to stay after I tell him."

" _Stay_?"

She figures that perhaps thinking about an hypothetical tomorrow or the next day is the only way she's going to get through days like this.

"I was thinking... maybe I could offer him a place. In the team," she explains to him. "In the potential future team of gifted people that you said someday I might have."

"I see," Coulson says, contemplating the idea. "He's the first Inhuman we have been able to get to safely. Are you sure? His powers are pretty destructive."

"And _mine_ aren't?"

Coulson smiles. 

"He... just doesn't want to hurt people," Daisy goes on. "He's freaked out right now but in time, I think he can help us. I want to offer him a place in the team." Coulson is staring in an odd way. "What?"

"I'm not used to being on this side of the argument."

"What side?" she asks.

"When I recruited you for the team, it was a personal call," he tells her. "Many people adviced against it. But it paid off. It's great to see you play that role now, that's all."

Daisy purses her lips together, a wave of warmth engulfing her for a moment. She hopes to be able to do for others half of what Coulson has done for her and be the kind of support to others she's seen him be to the team. The idea of such responsibility on her shoulders – she has to admit it's exciting, it sends a pleasant shiver down her spine.

"And don't worry about Joey," she tells Coulson. "I get the feeling you're going to like him."

"Yeah?" he asks, taking a quick sip from his beer.

"Yeah. Because he's a good guy," she explains. "And you're a good guy."

"Or a good corpse," Coulson says, with a twitch in his mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing. Something that the leader of this new group said," Coulson explains. "She said I was a corpse."

She feels a stab of coldness in her chest.

"That's awful," she says. "You're not a corpse."

It should be evident and it goes without saying but, with Coulson, you never know.

"No," he agrees, sounding like he's only 97% sure he's not a corpse. "But I'm struggling."

She lies back, the leather of the couch creaks softly for a moment. "We're all struggling."

"Yes but I'm the Director," he says, and it sounds almost self-deprecating, because it's not the first time he's used this line and it's not the first time Daisy has to stop herself from rolling her eyes because he should know nobody here thinks he's weak for it. Now that's she is leading her own operation she gets it, though. She also wants to do whatever is necessary to make the rest of the team believe she has everything under control.

She's also not sure she's the ideal candidate to give Coulson a pep talk.

"We'll be fine," she says lamely.

"We will," Coulson replies, equally hesitant, and she no longer knows who is supposed to be cheering whom up.

Then she remembers that word, _corpse_.

"And hey, I noticed this morning you didn't spill any when you were pouring your coffee so," she tells him. "Bonus there."

She lets out a low laugh at her own joke. She notices Coulson's intent stare and for a moment she thinks she might have offended him but that's not it. He reaches out and touches his hand to Daisy's hair, the messy bits at the end she is still unable to tame in her new haircut. She is about to ask him what he's doing when Coulson leans forward and presses his mouth against hers gently.

Daisy is surprised, and then again she's not.

She opens her mouth slightly under his and Coulson slides his tongue inside carefully, his hand still stroking her hair. She should be _shocked_ , and somehow can't bring herself to be, and somehow she can't bring herself not to kiss him back a little either.

The light taste of beer on his lips brings her back to a time when it wasn't such a big event, someone kissing her. Last person who kissed her was Hydra Psycho Extraordinaire and she's a bit offended no one has tried until now. She is kissable, isn't she? Maybe this makes up for it, because Phil is not exactly known for giving into personal impulses. Even if it wasn't with her she'd be glad he's doing this.

She's glad it's with her.

But, of course, it's not the time. 

She rests her hand on his chest – nice and warm and god she has missed being this close to someone – and pushes him away as gently as she can, so that it's not exactly a rejection, but also so she can explain.

She wants to say a lot and be honest and make Coulson feel as loved as he makes her feel and of course none of that is what actually makes it out of her mouth.

Instead: "Wow. You really are struggling," she jokes.

Coulson immediately pulls back, panic in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Sk– _Daisy_."

"No, no, I'm the one who – using humor to deflect emotionally charged situation," she explains while she wraps her hand around his arm to stop him from leaving like he's done something wrong. "It's a thing I should definitely look into when you get us a new shrink, or if Andrew ever comes back."

She chuckles. Coulson's face relaxes a bit, still expectant, still looking a bit guilty. She wants him to know this is not a bad thing _at all_. It's good, it's a good development.

"Coulson," she says, trying to be serious and gentle at the same time. "A lot of people are going to tranform into Inhumans and they will be confused and terrified and they will get hurt. And it's my fault. I have to help them. I have to help people like Joey. And Lincoln, even if he doesn't want my help. And... everything else. My friend is gone, sucked by an alien rock that's supposed to be lethal to me, and my SO is not here and– Point is: I can't be thinking about this stuff right now. I'm sorry."

"I understand," he says, nodding, but obviously looking a bit bummed, which, Daisy is not going to lie, feels a tiny bit good.

She also wants him to know that this is not the end of it, not even close.

"Hey," she says, touching his neck to get his attention. "If I could think about this kind of stuff right now, I would be thinking about _you_."

"Really?"

He sounds distrustful of it, but pleased that she'd even say it. Daisy has to admit that between seeing him out of his old suits and working side by side as equals as they've done these past months – well, the way she sees him and feels about him has begun to change. And it's Coulson, of course if she could think about anyone like that right now... it was always going to be Coulson. She's just not as brave as he is. At least not for now.

"Really," she assures him. She crosses her legs on the couch and smirks at him, trying to sound flirty. "So when we figure out how to help everybody who's gone through Terrigenesis, and how to stop that monster hunting my people, maybe we can have another beer."

He nods, andearingly eager. "Yes, we can do that."

Daisy raises her bottle.

"It's a deal?"

Coulson follows and clinks his bottle against hers shyly.

They sit back in companionable silence once more. And wow, she has never been able to tell a guy she needs some time to think things over and trust that the guy is going to understand or agree to that. That's new and it's nice.

There's still a lot of work to do and a lot of pain to deal with but Daisy feels better about it all than she did twenty minutes ago.

It's a bit easier, hoping there's a tomorrow or a next day when things will be a bit easier, now that she also has this to look forward to.

She touches her fingertips to her lower lip, remembering how it felt, giving Coulson a sideways smirk.

"What?" he asks when he catches the gesture.

"For a corpse you're a surprisingly good kisser, Phil," she says.


End file.
